You've connected with someone promising on LinkedIn. Their profile looks impressive, their experience aligns with your interests, and you're eager to start a conversation. But then you freeze. What do you say? How do you begin without sounding salesy or transactional?

"Obviously the right way to do it isn't to send people salesy messages. Those who succeed say they 'start conversations instead of selling.' Ok, cool, uhh... how!?" This sentiment, shared by many LinkedIn users, captures the common struggle of initiating meaningful connections on the platform.

The answer lies in something we're all born with but often forget to use in professional settings: curiosity.

Why Genuine Curiosity Transforms LinkedIn Conversations

At its core, curiosity is about authentic interest in another person's experiences, perspectives, and journey. When you approach connections with genuine curiosity rather than an agenda, something magical happens – people respond.

As humans, we're naturally drawn to those who show interest in us. Research shows that talking about ourselves activates the same pleasure centers in our brain as food and money. When you ask thoughtful questions that invite someone to share their story, you're not just making conversation – you're creating a genuinely pleasurable experience for them.

But there's a critical distinction: authentic curiosity cannot be faked. People have finely-tuned sensors for detecting when someone's interest is merely a pretext for promoting their services or products. True curiosity comes from a place of wanting to learn and understand, not from wanting to sell.

The Curiosity Framework for LinkedIn Engagement

So how do you translate curiosity into actual LinkedIn conversations? Here's a practical framework to guide you:

1. Research Before Reaching Out

Before sending that connection request or first message, spend time exploring the person's profile, recent activity, and shared connections. Look for:

• Recent career milestones or job changes

• Articles or posts they've published

• Shared interests or experiences

• Companies or projects you're genuinely interested in

This research isn't about finding "hooks" for a sales pitch – it's about discovering genuine points of connection and interest.

2. Craft Personalized, Curious Opening Messages

Armed with your research, create an opening message that demonstrates specific interest in the person's work or perspective. For example:

❌ "I'd like to connect to share my business services that could help your company grow."

✅ "I noticed your recent article about customer experience metrics. Your point about the gap between satisfaction and loyalty really resonated with me. I'm curious – what initially sparked your interest in this area?"

The key difference? The second message focuses entirely on them, asks an open-ended question, and comes from a place of genuine interest rather than self-promotion.

3. Master the Art of Follow-Up Questions

The first message opens the door, but thoughtful follow-up questions build the relationship. This is where the "Lube Value Question" (LVQ) approach can be particularly effective:

• Lube: Acknowledge and reflect their response, showing you genuinely listened

• Value: Share a relevant insight, resource, or connection that adds value to them

• Question: Ask another thoughtful question that moves the conversation forward

For instance, if they share their journey into studying customer experience metrics:

"That's fascinating how you transitioned from product development to focusing on customer experience (lube). Your approach reminds me of an insightful research paper on emotional metrics in customer satisfaction that might interest you – happy to share it if helpful (value). I'm curious about how you've seen these metrics evolve during the pandemic when so many customer interactions shifted online? (question)"

4. Be Patient and Persistent (Respectfully)

LinkedIn is busy, distracting, and not everyone checks messages regularly. Don't take silence personally. A thoughtful follow-up after a week demonstrates continued interest without being pushy:

"Hi Sarah, I just wanted to check in on my previous message. I'm still quite interested in your perspective on customer experience metrics, especially given your unique background in both product and service industries. No pressure at all – I know how busy things can get!"

Common Pitfalls to Avoid

Even with the best intentions, there are several traps that can derail your curiosity-driven approach:

Premature Business Pitching

One of the most common questions is: "How long is enough before escalating to presenting a business idea? Should the goal be to take the conversation off LinkedIn?"

The answer: There is no universal timeline. The right moment emerges organically when you've established genuine rapport and mutual value. As a rule of thumb, never pitch until:

1. You thoroughly understand their needs and challenges

2. You've provided value without expectation of return

3. They've expressed interest in learning more about what you do

Trust your instincts – if it feels too soon, it probably is.

Treating Conversations Like Transactions

LinkedIn conversations aren't about checking boxes or following a rigid script to get to a sale. They're about building relationships that may yield various benefits – sometimes business opportunities, but also friendships, mentorships, knowledge exchange, and community.

One-Way Curiosity

Curiosity should flow both ways. While focusing on the other person is important, also be willing to share your own insights, experiences, and perspectives when appropriate. The most meaningful connections emerge from mutual discovery.

How Kondo Can Support Curiosity-Driven Networking

For professionals serious about relationship-building on LinkedIn, managing conversations effectively becomes crucial as your network grows. This is where tools like Kondo can be particularly valuable.

Kondo's Labels & Split Inboxes feature allows you to categorize conversations (like "Potential Collaborators," "Industry Experts," or "Mentorship Opportunities"), ensuring you never lose track of important connections cultivated through your curiosity-driven approach.

When interesting conversations lead to follow-up commitments, Kondo's Reminders feature ensures you maintain momentum, prompting you to check in at the perfect time without relying on memory. This is particularly valuable as you build a network of meaningful connections that require nurturing over time.

Curiosity in Action: Real-World Success Stories

Consider the approach of Sarah, a LinkedIn Top Voice in marketing who attributes her success to asking thoughtful questions:

"I never start with what I do or how I can help," she explains. "Instead, I notice something specific about their work and ask a genuine question. My first message might be: 'I was intrigued by your recent project implementing AI in consumer research. What surprised you most during that process?' This has led to incredible mentorships, speaking opportunities, and clients – but none of those were my initial goal. I was simply curious."

Another professional, James, generated 176 meetings in 30 days through LinkedIn by focusing exclusively on contextual engagement:

"Before messaging anyone, I spend at least five minutes understanding their world. What are they posting about? What seems to energize them? Then I craft a question that demonstrates I've paid attention and genuinely want their perspective. The key is that I never ask questions I can Google – I ask questions only they can answer based on their unique experience."

Transforming Your LinkedIn Experience Through Curiosity

Embracing curiosity as your primary networking tool requires a mindset shift. Instead of seeing LinkedIn as a platform for broadcasting your offerings or hunting for opportunities, view it as a vast landscape of fascinating professionals with unique stories and insights.

Ask yourself before each interaction:

• What can I learn from this person?

• What aspects of their experience am I genuinely curious about?

• How can I make them feel truly heard and understood?

When you approach LinkedIn with these questions guiding you, conversations naturally become more engaging, authentic, and ultimately, more fruitful for all involved.

As one Reddit user aptly put it: "Most people like to talk about themselves more than the other person and feel understood, this is why asking questions impresses people." Your genuine curiosity isn't just a conversation starter – it's a gift that creates space for others to feel valued.

Conclusion: Curiosity as a Professional Superpower

In a digital landscape often criticized for superficial connections and transactional networking, curiosity stands out as a genuine way to create meaningful professional relationships. By approaching each interaction with authentic interest, thoughtful questions, and a desire to understand rather than to sell, you transform LinkedIn from a networking platform into a community of real connections.

Remember that cultivating curiosity isn't just about technique – it's about genuinely caring about the people behind the profiles. As Brené Brown wisely noted, "Curiosity is an act of vulnerability and courage." It requires setting aside assumptions, admitting what you don't know, and being open to having your perspective changed.

The next time you're staring at that LinkedIn message box wondering how to start a conversation, don't overthink the perfect "opener" or worry about how quickly you can move the conversation toward business. Instead, simply ask yourself: "What am I genuinely curious about regarding this person?" Let that question guide you, and authentic connections will naturally follow.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the core principle of using curiosity for LinkedIn networking?

The core principle is to approach LinkedIn interactions with a genuine interest in learning about others, rather than with an immediate goal to sell or promote. This means prioritizing understanding the other person's experiences, perspectives, and journey to build authentic connections.

Why is genuine curiosity more effective than a direct sales approach on LinkedIn?

Genuine curiosity is more effective because it fosters authentic connections and makes people feel valued, which is more persuasive than a sales pitch. Humans are naturally drawn to those who show interest in them, and a curiosity-driven conversation activates pleasure centers in the brain, making the interaction positive and memorable, unlike unsolicited sales messages which are often ignored or disliked.

How can I craft a LinkedIn message that shows genuine curiosity?

To craft a message showing genuine curiosity, start by researching the person's profile for specific details like recent articles, career milestones, or shared interests. Then, ask an open-ended question related to what you found, focusing entirely on them and their experience, rather than your own agenda. For example, instead of offering your services, ask about the inspiration behind a project they completed.

When is it appropriate to discuss business after connecting with someone on LinkedIn through curiosity?

There's no fixed timeline; the right moment to discuss business emerges organically after you've established genuine rapport and mutual value. A good rule of thumb is to wait until you thoroughly understand their needs, have provided value without expecting anything in return, and they've expressed some interest in what you do.

What are common mistakes to avoid when networking on LinkedIn with curiosity?

Common mistakes include pitching your business too early, treating conversations as transactions with a predefined outcome, and making the curiosity one-sided by not sharing your own insights when appropriate. True curiosity fosters a two-way exchange, building a relationship rather than just seeking a sale.

How can I manage and nurture multiple curiosity-driven conversations on LinkedIn?

Managing multiple conversations effectively requires organization. Tools like Kondo can help by allowing you to categorize conversations using labels (e.g., "Potential Collaborators," "Industry Experts") and set reminders for follow-ups. This ensures you maintain momentum and don't let valuable connections cultivated through curiosity fall through the cracks.